...
So… This weekend was really a great time. Well, I guess I should begin with the last two weekends, they really tie together.
The weekend of the 2nd, I was asked to help with a d|now for a friend of some friends (well he is my friend too, but more the friends’ friend). I really enjoyed the weekend. At first, it seemed a little overwhelming. If any of you do not know, a d|now is sort of a retreat for middle/high school students. There is usually a band, a speaker, and some fun for Friday night, Saturday, and then church on Sunday morning. Well, the reason this particular one seemed a little overwhelming at first was because I was in charge of 18 (count ’em, 1.. 2.. 3..) 8th and 9th grade girls and guys. Now, I have done these “co-ed” d|nows before, and they usually turn out really good. The guys barely even notice that the girls are there; and the girls couldn’t care less for a bunch of smelly and hormonal boys. That was almost the case for this one, except for the fact that one of the girls and one of the guys were “dating” (whatever that means these days). When I say “were,” I do not mean it in the sense of “it was last weekend and they are in the past,” I mean it as “they were dating at the beginning of the weekend and were not at the end (I’d like to think I had something to do with that, but I did not). They were both smart and pretty focused, but they were distracted by each other. I do not want to tell too much because it is not for y’all to know, but I think that the break will help to strengthen them both. I love both of them and I plan on continuing praying for them for as long as they are on my heart. That weekend I also got to know a cool dude who was, pretty much, and instant best friend. He was awesome, and I am awesome, could it have been any better?
Well, now that I have gotten that one out of the way, let me tell you about the next one.
This last weekend I got to go back to the church that God used to lead me to Him. It was one of the best reunions I was ever allowed to be a part of. My old youth pastor was the speaker, the old band was the weekend’s band, and friends from my past were all around me, not to mention all of the wonderful adults that had become surrogate aunts and uncles for me while I really needed them. I felt like I was being poured into this weekend more than I was allowed, and that maybe I wasn’t supposed to be getting so refreshed and nourished. Well, whatever the case, I loved it. Other than the wonderful atmosphere I was allowed to submerse myself into, I also met some really awesome students. I gained a little brother (some of you know how I get with the little siblings), and encouraging friend, some kicks in the butt, and, if I am lucky, someone to disciple. The little brother was an awesome student, who was very different from me, but we clicked instantly. One of the best things about this kid, if I may call him such, is that he has such a heart for Christ. He would spend so much of the time during each session just searching through his Bible, underlining and highlighting each passage, and really trying to answer questions honestly and openly. Something amazing that he did, especially for a 15 year old, was admit that there were things that he did not know. And he did it sincerely, without prompting. He was cool. I really feel that he will make an amazing leader, but more of the silent kind of leader. The guy that was the encouragement was someone who was 16. He was one of the most mature and seeking 16 year olds I am ever encountered. And boy is he a leader. All of the guys described him as an amazing, Godly student (and none of them forgot to add the part about having a six-pack of steel (the boys are definitely strict about their personal bubbles)). Once, when I had to give some of the other students a little talk, he went away with the ‘little brother’ and started going through the curriculum. They did that for about 15 to 20 minutes on their own. I thought it was really amazing that they would take such initiative. Well, I mentioned that I had some kicks in the butt? Well they were about to be kicked in their butts. They were the kids that would pretend to listen as you were sternly talking to them one on one, but would forget everything as soon as walked away. They were just like me (when I was in 8th and 9th grade, and only then). I could see that each of them was seeking, but they did not want to others to know that; so they distracted each other instead. I couldn’t help but love those kids. And I can’t help but pray for them. That leaves me with the student I am wanting to disciple. He was not even in my group. He is a junior in high school, and really needs someone to focus on him. Not that he is doing bad at all, but he really wants it, and I really want to give that to him. It will be interesting to see how that plays out.
Well, I left that last weekend with some confusion. While I was there it felt like home. Everything was flowing naturally and I felt like I fit. But I am not sure how much my emotional ties are involved with it all. I want to (maybe) start going back to that church; start helping with the youth and being plugged in. I also want to make sure that I do not just want to do it because it is a comfortable spot. We humans do a lot for the sake of comfort; I pray that will not be the driving force in this decision.
`until eternity.
11 February 2008
31 January 2008
Doesn't Say Much
So this is going to be the last post that I do that is a paper I did for a class. This paper just showed my opinion of what popular music conveys about American culture.
...
When looking to define any culture, one aspect that always stands as a pillar of how the society is viewed is what the music has to say about it. Music, in this context, is defined as poetry that has been put to an audible rhythm rather than one that is implied. The music that is most popular for each society says many things: how the culture may view itself, how it may view other cultures, how it views individuals within the culture and their relationships to each other, and where the desires and focus for the culture lie; the United States of America is no exception. According to top40-charts.com, the majority of the top forty most popular songs in the U.S., chosen by number of sales and radio airplay, is comprised of rap and R&B; two of which are “Kiss Kiss,” recorded by artists Chris Brown and T-Pain, and “Low,” recorded by Flo-rida. “Kiss Kiss” and “Low,“ though different in style and origin, are both rap songs that agree on what they imply about American culture, especially in the ways of its wants, its driving force behind its actions, and how it views the interactions between individuals within the culture.
When a musician puts out a song with free reign to express anything, what will be implied about that musician’s culture’s desires by the songs that are chosen as the most popular? “Kiss Kiss” is very direct in the way it talks about the wants of men and women. According to this song, men and women want each other, and more than that, they want what they consider to be the best versions of the opposite sex. Men want qualities such as “fine and thick as can be,” “so hot,” and in want of “that lovey dovey” and “that kiss kiss” (“Kiss Kiss”). To further describe the women men want, “Low” uses lines such as “Apple Bottom Jeans” (a brand of jeans that accentuate a woman’s bottom), “boots with the fur,” “baggy sweat pants,” “flexible,” “so sexual,” and “worth the money.” Women seem to want men with “the Lamborghini with the spider seats” and the “king of the town” with plenty of money (“Kiss Kiss”). Based on the statements from “Kiss Kiss” and “Low,” men want sexy sexual provocatively dressed women, and women want men with a lot of money and high quality goods.
What is the driving force behind the previously described desires; what reward lies in obtaining those wants? “Low” explains the underlying push for men very clearly: “That’s what I told her, her legs on my shoulder got me like a soldier she ready for Rover, I couldn’t control her so lucky oo me, I was just like a clover shorty was hot like a toaster sorry but I had to fold her, like a pornography poster.” In this scene, men’s driving force is simply sex; purely physical, instantly gratifying, and unrestrained inconsequential sex. By the way the type of men that are desired are described, women are willing to give men what they want just to get their money and attention.
Both songs seem to show how the other gender is viewed. The multiple uses of the phrases “so get it” and “I know what you want” present men as a way to get what women really want (“Kiss Kiss”). “Low” goes further to describe the woman’s attitude towards the man: “Yea she was worth the money, lil mama took my cash, and I ain;t want it back, the way she bit that rag, got her them paper stacks, tattoo above her crack, I had to handle that.” In this case, “lil mama” did what it took to get “them paper stacks” (“Low”). This same stanza of the song is also a statement of how men see women; a possession to be bought and used with a monetary worth. “Kiss Kiss” adds to this statement with phrases such as “I got money on me… Baby girl no problem… You rolling shawty,” and “If you wit it girl get poppin call with me ain’t no stopping so get it shawty.”
Based on the songs chosen by the people to be among the most popular in the U.S., American culture seems fairly simple. Men want purchase sexy women for sex, and women will give men what they want in order to get what they want; money. From what the music says, American culture is very well balanced.
...
When looking to define any culture, one aspect that always stands as a pillar of how the society is viewed is what the music has to say about it. Music, in this context, is defined as poetry that has been put to an audible rhythm rather than one that is implied. The music that is most popular for each society says many things: how the culture may view itself, how it may view other cultures, how it views individuals within the culture and their relationships to each other, and where the desires and focus for the culture lie; the United States of America is no exception. According to top40-charts.com, the majority of the top forty most popular songs in the U.S., chosen by number of sales and radio airplay, is comprised of rap and R&B; two of which are “Kiss Kiss,” recorded by artists Chris Brown and T-Pain, and “Low,” recorded by Flo-rida. “Kiss Kiss” and “Low,“ though different in style and origin, are both rap songs that agree on what they imply about American culture, especially in the ways of its wants, its driving force behind its actions, and how it views the interactions between individuals within the culture.
When a musician puts out a song with free reign to express anything, what will be implied about that musician’s culture’s desires by the songs that are chosen as the most popular? “Kiss Kiss” is very direct in the way it talks about the wants of men and women. According to this song, men and women want each other, and more than that, they want what they consider to be the best versions of the opposite sex. Men want qualities such as “fine and thick as can be,” “so hot,” and in want of “that lovey dovey” and “that kiss kiss” (“Kiss Kiss”). To further describe the women men want, “Low” uses lines such as “Apple Bottom Jeans” (a brand of jeans that accentuate a woman’s bottom), “boots with the fur,” “baggy sweat pants,” “flexible,” “so sexual,” and “worth the money.” Women seem to want men with “the Lamborghini with the spider seats” and the “king of the town” with plenty of money (“Kiss Kiss”). Based on the statements from “Kiss Kiss” and “Low,” men want sexy sexual provocatively dressed women, and women want men with a lot of money and high quality goods.
What is the driving force behind the previously described desires; what reward lies in obtaining those wants? “Low” explains the underlying push for men very clearly: “That’s what I told her, her legs on my shoulder got me like a soldier she ready for Rover, I couldn’t control her so lucky oo me, I was just like a clover shorty was hot like a toaster sorry but I had to fold her, like a pornography poster.” In this scene, men’s driving force is simply sex; purely physical, instantly gratifying, and unrestrained inconsequential sex. By the way the type of men that are desired are described, women are willing to give men what they want just to get their money and attention.
Both songs seem to show how the other gender is viewed. The multiple uses of the phrases “so get it” and “I know what you want” present men as a way to get what women really want (“Kiss Kiss”). “Low” goes further to describe the woman’s attitude towards the man: “Yea she was worth the money, lil mama took my cash, and I ain;t want it back, the way she bit that rag, got her them paper stacks, tattoo above her crack, I had to handle that.” In this case, “lil mama” did what it took to get “them paper stacks” (“Low”). This same stanza of the song is also a statement of how men see women; a possession to be bought and used with a monetary worth. “Kiss Kiss” adds to this statement with phrases such as “I got money on me… Baby girl no problem… You rolling shawty,” and “If you wit it girl get poppin call with me ain’t no stopping so get it shawty.”
Based on the songs chosen by the people to be among the most popular in the U.S., American culture seems fairly simple. Men want purchase sexy women for sex, and women will give men what they want in order to get what they want; money. From what the music says, American culture is very well balanced.
30 January 2008
Good Book
Here is another paper written for that Composition class (yeah, I know this isn't some original stuff here, but let me get back into the habit). This was written to try and give a brief summary/intro to the book Ragamuffin Gospel. If you ever get the chance, it is a great book. Side Note: All of the papers have a slightly or more Christian focus and were written and submitted to a Moralist professor (believes that people just need to be good and mind their own business; religion and "God" just takes it too far). She loved my papers, kept some of them for examples in her other classes, and told me multiple times that she looked forward to reading my next submission. I do not say all of this to brag on myself (well not completely to brag) but to show that God can work through even my writing (I was too afraid to try and approach this prof in any other way, so I did it this way; under the radar). Enjoy (Hopefully).
...
If we are all flawed and dirty, dark to the core, then what makes a place like heaven, a place full of light and perfection, attainable for us? The answer: A gift of grace. In the sections titled “A Word Before” and “Something is Radically Wrong,” in the book The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning states how the gift is not for those who have it all together, but rather for those who are willing to admit that they cannot do it alone.
In “A Word Before,” Manning describes the specific audience he had in mind while writing The Ragamuffin Gospel. In an almost poetic verse, he weeds out people from his ideal audience. Manning removes everyone who has put themselves up onto a pedestal of fearlessness, pride, forced happiness, and perfection. He says phrases such as:
It is not for the Alleluia Christians who live only on the mountaintop and have never visited the valley of desolation.
It is not for the fearless and tearless.
It is not for the complacent, hoisting over their shoulder a tote-bag of honors, diplomas, and good works actually believing they have it made. (Manning 14)
Anyone who thinks that they can accomplish Biblical Christianity alone, without the help of the God of the Bible, needs not read further; at least not until they can realize that they are just as downtrodden and defeated as the rest. The Ragamuffin Gospel , as stated on page fifteen, is written for the burnt-out, sorely burdened, wobbly and weak-kneed, inconsistent, and sinful men and women who are smart enough to know they are stupid, and honest enough to realize they are “scalawags.” Brennan Manning states that he wrote the book for himself and anyone else who has “grown weary and discouraged along the Way” (Manning 15). The Ragamuffin Gospel is to help understand the gift being held out to them, whether or not they have accepted it. It is an information sheet for a product that cannot be fully understood just by looking.
If grace is just being held out to everyone who knows they need it, then why does it seem so hard to convince the public that it is worth the nothing it costs to receive? The reason that people have a hard time accepting is because “our culture has made the word grace impossible to understand” (Manning 18). Basically, “The American Church today accepts grace in theory but denies it in practice” (Manning 18). The impression has been presented that someone can just lift themselves up by tugging on their shoe laces. The general public echoes with such mottos as, “There’s no free lunch”; “You get what you deserve”; “You want love? Earn It”; “You want mercy? Show you deserve it” (Manning 18). There is such a harsh statement that seems to be resonating all around that says something to the effect of, “If you want to reach the top, you must climb the mountain yourself. Do not depend on anyone for anything. Do it all alone or do not try at all. Ignore the path laid out to make it all easier.” All the while, grace is saying, “I am here for you. I am trustworthy. I came unwarranted. I came to help.“ Manning begs for people to stop deceiving themselves. He urges for those left reading to acknowledge that there is still a full-fledged battle raging within. Speaking of himself, he states that he is “often unloving, irritable, angry, and resentful,” yet “God not only loves me as I am, but also knows me as I am” (Manning 25). Manning does not try to over-romanticize grace; but instead, he tries to show that grace cannot be fully described or comprehended. It can only be understood enough for it to be accepted and appreciated.
He closes with a scene from the Heavenly Gates, where there is noticed a prostitute, a woman who has had an abortion, a clergyman afraid to fully trust in God, and a teen who cries out to a god he barely remembers from his childhood Sunday school lessons. Someone asks, “How it is possible for the downtrodden and defeated to be there entering into heaven?” Manning simply states that they are there, “wearing the bloodied garments of life’s tribulations,” because, through it all, they held tightly to faith in the gift (Manning 33).
...
If we are all flawed and dirty, dark to the core, then what makes a place like heaven, a place full of light and perfection, attainable for us? The answer: A gift of grace. In the sections titled “A Word Before” and “Something is Radically Wrong,” in the book The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning states how the gift is not for those who have it all together, but rather for those who are willing to admit that they cannot do it alone.
In “A Word Before,” Manning describes the specific audience he had in mind while writing The Ragamuffin Gospel. In an almost poetic verse, he weeds out people from his ideal audience. Manning removes everyone who has put themselves up onto a pedestal of fearlessness, pride, forced happiness, and perfection. He says phrases such as:
It is not for the Alleluia Christians who live only on the mountaintop and have never visited the valley of desolation.
It is not for the fearless and tearless.
It is not for the complacent, hoisting over their shoulder a tote-bag of honors, diplomas, and good works actually believing they have it made. (Manning 14)
Anyone who thinks that they can accomplish Biblical Christianity alone, without the help of the God of the Bible, needs not read further; at least not until they can realize that they are just as downtrodden and defeated as the rest. The Ragamuffin Gospel , as stated on page fifteen, is written for the burnt-out, sorely burdened, wobbly and weak-kneed, inconsistent, and sinful men and women who are smart enough to know they are stupid, and honest enough to realize they are “scalawags.” Brennan Manning states that he wrote the book for himself and anyone else who has “grown weary and discouraged along the Way” (Manning 15). The Ragamuffin Gospel is to help understand the gift being held out to them, whether or not they have accepted it. It is an information sheet for a product that cannot be fully understood just by looking.
If grace is just being held out to everyone who knows they need it, then why does it seem so hard to convince the public that it is worth the nothing it costs to receive? The reason that people have a hard time accepting is because “our culture has made the word grace impossible to understand” (Manning 18). Basically, “The American Church today accepts grace in theory but denies it in practice” (Manning 18). The impression has been presented that someone can just lift themselves up by tugging on their shoe laces. The general public echoes with such mottos as, “There’s no free lunch”; “You get what you deserve”; “You want love? Earn It”; “You want mercy? Show you deserve it” (Manning 18). There is such a harsh statement that seems to be resonating all around that says something to the effect of, “If you want to reach the top, you must climb the mountain yourself. Do not depend on anyone for anything. Do it all alone or do not try at all. Ignore the path laid out to make it all easier.” All the while, grace is saying, “I am here for you. I am trustworthy. I came unwarranted. I came to help.“ Manning begs for people to stop deceiving themselves. He urges for those left reading to acknowledge that there is still a full-fledged battle raging within. Speaking of himself, he states that he is “often unloving, irritable, angry, and resentful,” yet “God not only loves me as I am, but also knows me as I am” (Manning 25). Manning does not try to over-romanticize grace; but instead, he tries to show that grace cannot be fully described or comprehended. It can only be understood enough for it to be accepted and appreciated.
He closes with a scene from the Heavenly Gates, where there is noticed a prostitute, a woman who has had an abortion, a clergyman afraid to fully trust in God, and a teen who cries out to a god he barely remembers from his childhood Sunday school lessons. Someone asks, “How it is possible for the downtrodden and defeated to be there entering into heaven?” Manning simply states that they are there, “wearing the bloodied garments of life’s tribulations,” because, through it all, they held tightly to faith in the gift (Manning 33).
28 January 2008
Comin' Back to Bloggin
Hey everyone, I have not posted in over a year, but I want to again. I do not know how often I will update, or what type of things I will be posting, but let's take it one step at a time. This post is a paper I wrote for a Composition class not too long ago. The assignment was a Personal Narrative. The paper I wrote was titled Growing my Voice, and it is about first experiencing grace. I hope you all enjoy (feedback/criticism is welcome).
...
By itself, the word “grace” could be a name, a description of a movement, or even an action. Though, when I take that simple word, put it into the right context, and apply it to my life, that seemingly small word grows to something bigger than I could ever fully define or describe. To me, this is no longer a word, but instead beauty, strength, hope, peace, love, mercy, and life. Grace, to me, is the box that contains the voice that I was meant to have.
I was born longing to say something. I wanted to tell the world… something. My first problem was that I was born too young to have anything to say. So I remained silent, relatively, for a small time. Then the time came, after what seemed like an eternity of learning, that I decided I had experienced the world. I knew about life, and how to live, and I was ready to tell it to anyone who was willing to listen. So one day, when everyone had gathered around the ball of wisdom that was myself, I opened my mouth and said to them, “rice.” I know that it was not the wisest thing I have ever said, but I was hungry. Wisdom could wait until hunger had passed. When I spoke that first immortal word, I realized something else, I realized that my voice was small and weak. Not at all like the voices I had listened to up to that point. How would anyone heed my wisdom if the only responses my voice would invoke were laughter and statements of how dare I repeat such a demeaning word, cute my voice was. I decided, that day, that the world, as mean and cruel as it was, would have to wait until I had the voice I was looking for.
As the years passed, and passed, and passed, I realized that the wisdom I had while I was younger seemed to be useless. As I kept growing, learning, experiencing life, and seeing wisdom pour from others around me, I realized that my life was insufficient to produce the same kind of wisdom that was demonstrated in the elders that surrounded me. My voice was growing and getting stronger, yet without wisdom I felt that I had no foundation from which my voice could leap from in order to make itself known to the world. Before this sudden revelation, I loved to speak. Anyone could trust in me to say what I saw, and how I saw it. After this, though, my world changed. Honestly, what could I say that would make any difference in anyone’s life. All around me was so much pain, hurting, suffering, and ultimately, death. What was worse was that all of that was being caused by everyone else. With the way we treated each other, did we deserve any better than the life we had, collectively? Now I was wondering if it was even possible to do what I wanted to do, with the voice I wanted to have, when I was worse than most of the others I encountered.
I continued to get older, and the voice that I had been seeking so much as my younger self still was not there, so I started cheating. The voice I had was a collection of the thoughts and wisdom of everyone that surrounded me. I had no foundation under me, but I sounded like I did. The side effect was, while I was so busy trying to make a voice that sounded like what I wanted, I lost myself. I lost who I was, and I had no idea who I was meant to be. One night, while wondering about this, I heard a voice say, “Let me, and I will show you who you are and who you are meant to be.” This voice was something different. It was strong and powerful, yet gentle and beautiful, amazingly loud in its whisper-like quality. The voice came from within me, though it was not mine. It came from all around me and my ears could not hear it, yet my heart and mind could not ignore it. It spoke wonderfully clear, though without words. I decided to take The Voice up on its offer. I said, “Tell me,” and it did. I learned that I was one of the many nobody’s in this small world, that the things I do are eternally insufficient, and my desires are unbelievably small compared to what they could be. Who I could be was new and simple. He said that I was meant to be His. Suddenly the question came up, “His?” He answered, “Yes mine, a child of God, born of grace, through faith.” For some reason, even if I had wanted to, I do not think I could have said no. A boy without a father now had one coming after him. He came for me. Unwarranted and undeserved. Then, as my heart fell into his invisible arms, I realized what grace was. Grace was The Father, my father, coming to me when I spend my entire life running away.
Did this experience make me perfect, or better than those around me? It did not. It did, however, give me a reason to speak, it gave me my voice.
...
By itself, the word “grace” could be a name, a description of a movement, or even an action. Though, when I take that simple word, put it into the right context, and apply it to my life, that seemingly small word grows to something bigger than I could ever fully define or describe. To me, this is no longer a word, but instead beauty, strength, hope, peace, love, mercy, and life. Grace, to me, is the box that contains the voice that I was meant to have.
I was born longing to say something. I wanted to tell the world… something. My first problem was that I was born too young to have anything to say. So I remained silent, relatively, for a small time. Then the time came, after what seemed like an eternity of learning, that I decided I had experienced the world. I knew about life, and how to live, and I was ready to tell it to anyone who was willing to listen. So one day, when everyone had gathered around the ball of wisdom that was myself, I opened my mouth and said to them, “rice.” I know that it was not the wisest thing I have ever said, but I was hungry. Wisdom could wait until hunger had passed. When I spoke that first immortal word, I realized something else, I realized that my voice was small and weak. Not at all like the voices I had listened to up to that point. How would anyone heed my wisdom if the only responses my voice would invoke were laughter and statements of how dare I repeat such a demeaning word, cute my voice was. I decided, that day, that the world, as mean and cruel as it was, would have to wait until I had the voice I was looking for.
As the years passed, and passed, and passed, I realized that the wisdom I had while I was younger seemed to be useless. As I kept growing, learning, experiencing life, and seeing wisdom pour from others around me, I realized that my life was insufficient to produce the same kind of wisdom that was demonstrated in the elders that surrounded me. My voice was growing and getting stronger, yet without wisdom I felt that I had no foundation from which my voice could leap from in order to make itself known to the world. Before this sudden revelation, I loved to speak. Anyone could trust in me to say what I saw, and how I saw it. After this, though, my world changed. Honestly, what could I say that would make any difference in anyone’s life. All around me was so much pain, hurting, suffering, and ultimately, death. What was worse was that all of that was being caused by everyone else. With the way we treated each other, did we deserve any better than the life we had, collectively? Now I was wondering if it was even possible to do what I wanted to do, with the voice I wanted to have, when I was worse than most of the others I encountered.
I continued to get older, and the voice that I had been seeking so much as my younger self still was not there, so I started cheating. The voice I had was a collection of the thoughts and wisdom of everyone that surrounded me. I had no foundation under me, but I sounded like I did. The side effect was, while I was so busy trying to make a voice that sounded like what I wanted, I lost myself. I lost who I was, and I had no idea who I was meant to be. One night, while wondering about this, I heard a voice say, “Let me, and I will show you who you are and who you are meant to be.” This voice was something different. It was strong and powerful, yet gentle and beautiful, amazingly loud in its whisper-like quality. The voice came from within me, though it was not mine. It came from all around me and my ears could not hear it, yet my heart and mind could not ignore it. It spoke wonderfully clear, though without words. I decided to take The Voice up on its offer. I said, “Tell me,” and it did. I learned that I was one of the many nobody’s in this small world, that the things I do are eternally insufficient, and my desires are unbelievably small compared to what they could be. Who I could be was new and simple. He said that I was meant to be His. Suddenly the question came up, “His?” He answered, “Yes mine, a child of God, born of grace, through faith.” For some reason, even if I had wanted to, I do not think I could have said no. A boy without a father now had one coming after him. He came for me. Unwarranted and undeserved. Then, as my heart fell into his invisible arms, I realized what grace was. Grace was The Father, my father, coming to me when I spend my entire life running away.
Did this experience make me perfect, or better than those around me? It did not. It did, however, give me a reason to speak, it gave me my voice.
29 September 2006
What Is My Desire...
(Picture is to lighten mood before you read)
So…
What has become of me since I have been back?
While I was over in Africa I spoke of being on fire, standing out, truly representing Christ the way that we were meant to do it. While I have been back I have made plans. Plans in my head about all of these things that I feel need to be done and I have not started on any of them.
What am I waiting for?
I truly do love the Lord so much, so why can I not bring myself to start acting on the things that need to be done, not to change the world, but to focus my live on Him. What else could possibly be my aim? There is no worrying about this or that if my only focus is on Him and Him alone. I am shown so much wisdom in every day. The other day I saw how I had been blinded by my pride from seeing how amazing smart and wise my ‘Little Brother’ is. I just assumed that I was a little higher than him on the “Spiritual Playing Field”. I know that I have so much to learn from him.
Another thing that I have been pretty dumb in is how I talk about the people that I met and worked with. I always talk about how they were so on fire and so ready to do whatever it took to live for the Lord, because He truly was their reason for living. I have even caught myself saying something to the effect of, “I learned how to be on fire from the…” If I learned how to be on fire, where is my flame? I should be burning with desire to do everything there is to do. That is what they did. They truly lived lives. I am still so distracted. I only have eternity to look to. Why is the junk of this world so constantly getting to me? I am not making and statements about not getting married or leaving for Indonesia next week, I do not know what is planned for me. All I am saying is that nothing of this world worth more than a fraction of the Heavenly Glory that is to come, the true reward. We are here to serve God… We are here to Love God… All else is secondary. This will be my life because God is my desire. I know that in order to truly be on fire, my focus can not be ‘to be on fire’. I must at all times be focused on God and God alone. He will show lead me in the way I will go, all I need to do is follow Him.
Paul was not radical because he tried to be radical; Paul was radical because he saw Christ once, and from then on it was all he could see, all he could taste, all he could desire. I may be talking Paul up a bit here, but is that not what we are meant for; to stop settling for less than we are offered.
Until Eternity.
19 September 2006
One Regret
(Photo unwillingly provided my Kevin Rutledge (sevenplaces.blogspot.com))
I must say, I do have one regret from the last few years...
I most likely am not going to be getting that beautiful, oddly shaped piece of gold that is most commonly referred to as the Aggie Ring. The one thing that I have looked foward to since I was a big boy in the fourth grade just does not seem to be coming up in my near future. The only reason that this is a regret, of sorts, is because I chose not to get it. I instead chose to go another way, other than that of the Aggie (*gasp*). It is not that I have lost all chances, it is just that I will take none of them. As much as I would love to have a piece of metal to cherish, I feel that going this way will put a road block somewhere else that seems to mean so much more to me. To me the ring would be a symbol of completion, a "rite of passage" if you will, but it just does not seem to be worth whatever future I might be giving up. I know that there is a chance that finishing one place may not hinder my goals at another, but it is not a chance I would like to take. So, for now, I will just sit back and be blinded my the beautiful pieces of gold that adorn the hands of so many of my friends. They are worth more than the ring will ever be.
There you go. Anyone who has ever thought that I do not ever open up, there is a glimpse into my 'Inner Joseph'. Hope you have enjoyed, and that you know me just a little better from this adventure into the Blasian-ness.
Until Eternity
09 September 2006
Pictures
Here they are. All of the pictures from London and Zimbabwe. Well, Maybe not all of them, but some of them. I hope you like. If you like pictures, you should check out Sevenplaces.blogspot.com
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